By Harry Bumble, Proboscis Lycanthropy Correspondent
SANTA CRUZ, CA— After being a werewolf for most of a year, Bobby Drimble decided to try marijuana to ease the pain of his monthly transformation. “Yeah, turning into a werewolf hurts like hell. It basically breaks all your bones. But, it turns out you can get medical marijuana for lycanthropy, so I figured, hey, why not give it a try?”
Staring at the as-seen-on-TV products, Bobby states that he totally thought of that invention years ago, but somebody else made it before he got around to it.
Immediately before transforming into a murderous supernatural creature, Bobby sat on his couch and took several bong-hits of what the pot store clerk described as “Some dank-ass shit.”
Bobby doesn’t remember anything that happens once he turns into a werewolf, but according to eyewitnesses, he transformed as usual. However, instead of running off howling into the night and committing a string of grisly murders like he normally does on nights of the full moon, Werewolf-Bobby sat quietly on the couch, eyes glazed, and watched several episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, often laughing at inappropriate times. At one point he was heard to mutter, “paws are just, like, wild hands.”
The night soon took a horrific turn as (more…)
The Mud Lake Proboscis 