By Cooter Jackson, Editor In Chief
MUD LAKE, NV—Greetings, friends. Well, it’s election time, and ol’ Cooter here is happier than a tornado in a trailer park. Once every four years, we the American people are treated to this fine spectacle, a veritable three-ring circus of bloated egos, outlandish promises, and shameless approval-seeking that would make a high school prom queen blush.
George Washington, father of our country, famously said of the caucus system, “Seriously you guys, this is the best you could come up with?”
We’ve just now dipped a toe into the primary season, where each of our political parties decides who their candidate will be for the general election. This often happens by way of a process known as a caucus. As you know, I am something of a political expert, but even I get confused by the caucus system. What you have to realize is that it’s all based on time-honored traditions, developed by the infallible wisdom of people who lived a long time ago, back in the times when bloodletting was state-of-the-art medical technology, and dentistry involved a stout piece of oak and a pair of pliers.
Once you get a handle on it, the caucus system makes just as much sense as, lets say, American units of measurement. It’s simple enough: an inch, itself a totally arbitrary measure, is divided into sixteenths, eighths, quarters, and halves. Twelve inches is a foot. Three feet is a yard, 5,280 feet is a mile. Makes perfect sense! Much more (more…)