By Barney Lethchet, Proboscis Technology Correspondent
LOS ANGELES, CA—The ubiquitous wifi signals flooding homes and businesses worldwide are responsible for turning average people into aggressive, self-righteous asshats once they go online, according to a study published today by the Union of Independent Scientists For Understanding the Health Consequences of Technology (UISFUHCT)
“It is really quite perplexing,” said UISFUHCT spokesman Blake McGowan. “It turns out these signals, which we previously thought harmless, are actually penetrating people’s skulls and disrupting their brain waves, triggering massive levels of unjustified self-confidence, contempt for disagreement, narcissism, sociopathy, as well as a juvenile sense of humor.”
The result is ordinary people becoming intolerable, loathsome shartbags the minute they hit the Internet.
The current presidential campaign demonstrates the phenomenon clearly. The Proboscis sifted through hundreds of (more…)