LOCAL MAN ACCOSTED, ANALLY PROBED BY ALIENS IN REST-STOP BATHROOM

By Fig Flagler, Proboscis Society Correspondent

reststop

Mr. Boseman is so traumatized by his encounter, he just can’t stop thinking about it.

PALMDALE, CA- “Up until then, it’d been a pretty normal night.” Gus Boseman, night clerk at a local motel, describes his harrowing encounter. “It was a Saturday night, you know, and I’d just been hangin’ out in the men’s room of the rest-stop off of the 14. I’d been in there for maybe forty-five minutes, you know, just hangin’ out. Then all of a sudden I see these lights outside. Almost like headlights of a semi-truck or something, but I knowed it was a UFO.”

“So, of course I got real scared then, and I hid inside of a bathroom stall. But then that alien came in there with me. I thought it was just a regular guy, though, because he was wearin’ his human disguise. So when goes and sits on the toilet next to mine, I step on his foot a little bit, to warn him, like, hey buddy, keep quiet, there’s a alien outside. You know, like you’d do.”

That, according to Boseman, is when the encounter took a horrifying turn. “Then he stood up and came into the stall with me. I guess I was so scared I forgot to lock the door. And by God if he didn’t have his probe out, all hard and purple and shiny. It was… horrible.” Said Boseman, while absentmindedly touching his lower lip and staring into the middle distance, “Just horrible. The alien used his mind control ray on me, so’s I wouldn’t fight it. That evil bastard made me get on my knees and beg him to put that thick hot probe jest about everywhere.”

The aliens, says Boseman, thoroughly probed every orifice in his body. “I wouldn’t a put up with it if I’d had a choice, but you know, that alien mind control is a powerful thing.”

Boseman says he never would have shared the story of his traumatic and humiliating experience, had not a friend of his wife spotted his car at the rest stop. “I just thought I needed to get the truth out there. You know, in case there’s others like me. Suffering in silence.”

Mr. Boseman is currently forming a support group for men who have suffered similar abductions, to share their stories and try to ease some of the horrible trauma they’ve experienced. Men interested in attending meetings should see Mr. Boseman’s Craigslist ad, or look for his phone number on the wall of the bathroom of the Route 14 rest-stop.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s